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What makes us feel bad?
Let’s look at this through an example: Have you ever considered leaving “everything” behind and moving to another country? It’s a common fantasy and a pressure valve for all our daily tensions. Nevertheless, in some cases, what starts as simple day dreaming becomes a real idea. It may be a solution, for example to our…
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How do I react emotionally?
Appropriate response Every situation creates an emotional response but sometimes the response is not appropriate to the situation: we can either exaggerate it or minimize it. The more extreme our reaction, the more we are distorting reality. When we don’t know how to manage a feeling, we either control it or get it out of…
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The illusion of control
If something can be remedied Why be unhappy about it? And if there is no remedy for it, There is still no point in being unhappy. This is an extract from a poem composed in the 8th century by the Buddhist master Shantideva. How do we usually face the issues of frustration and lack of…
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What is your inner programming?
We all receive messages from our parents during our childhood, some are explicit and others are implicit. From all this, we interpret things in a certain way and we continue with those ideas till one day we start questioning them. For example, something I hear frequently in therapy is: “my parents didn’t love me” and…
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Dealing with pain in ourselves and in others
A client recently told me that every time she met her closest friend who was depressed, she ended up exhausted and frustrated trying to “help” her friend feel better. Upon a closer look, she realised that it wasn’t a “good” feeling, she felt responsible as if she had to do something about her friend’s pain.…
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Do you know what you really need?
Getting in touch with our real needs Our feelings are the engine of our actions and the gateway to our needs. If I want to know what I need, I have to ask myself what I feel first. If my needs are not met, I may feel angry, sad or afraid. It’s helpful to feel…
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My relationship isn’t going well, do I need counseling?
This is the question that many couples ask themselves. In general people go to counseling as the last resort. They go to individual or couples counseling after years of fights and resentment, virtually exhausted and in many cases without motivation or energy to continue. In either case it could be beneficial, to realize that there…