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How do I react emotionally?
Appropriate response Every situation creates an emotional response but sometimes the response is not appropriate to the situation: we can either exaggerate it or minimize it. The more extreme our reaction, the more we are distorting reality. When we don’t know how to manage a feeling, we either control it or get it out of…
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The illusion of control
If something can be remedied Why be unhappy about it? And if there is no remedy for it, There is still no point in being unhappy. This is an extract from a poem composed in the 8th century by the Buddhist master Shantideva. How do we usually face the issues of frustration and lack of…
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Dealing with pain in ourselves and in others
A client recently told me that every time she met her closest friend who was depressed, she ended up exhausted and frustrated trying to “help” her friend feel better. Upon a closer look, she realised that it wasn’t a “good” feeling, she felt responsible as if she had to do something about her friend’s pain.…
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Do you know what you really need?
Getting in touch with our real needs Our feelings are the engine of our actions and the gateway to our needs. If I want to know what I need, I have to ask myself what I feel first. If my needs are not met, I may feel angry, sad or afraid. It’s helpful to feel…